The end of my 2019

Hello! It has been a while since I wrote a blog post. I came on here to share my thoughts about the end of my fall 2019 term of UofT (my last fall term of undergrad).

Earlier, I was in the middle of playing my Sims 4 (since it is winter break) and I got an email that my mark was published for an essay that was due almost a month ago for my math history class. Surprisingly, I got a really high mark...I'm glad that the TA/prof enjoyed reading it. I put so much effort into developing multiple outlines for this essay since it really was an interesting topic to talk about. My essay was on the Newton-Leibniz priority dispute that occurred in the 17th century. To give a quick summary, it was about who was the first to invent the infinitesimal calculus. Leibniz was the first to publish his form of differential calculus while Newton was the first to come across his own version of calculus (method of fluxions). The general agreement is that both mathematicians independently developed calculus. Because of the mark I got, I am going to see if it will get accepted into the school's Almagest. I got an email about it a couple of days ago and it sounded interesting to try. I just have to change the citations into Chicago style.

Anyways, everytime I get a mark, I always go into my agenda and calculate the mark that I currently have. It's nice to know that for this fall term, I did really amazing prior to exams. It does make me sad that my performance in the exams weren't so great, so my mark will definitely not be too amazing. I'm trying to not let it bother me but I do regret not being well prepared and procrastinating so much. Overall, this fall term had the most reading intensive classes ever and I rarely fell behind in the multiple readings. I now dread my winter term because it has a mix of reading intensive classes as well as math and theory related classes. :( I'm probably going to hire a tutor for my remaining statistics class bc my greatest weakness is statistics at this school. It's the only course where I am not 100% sure I will even graduate in June 2020 Q_Q. If I had to reverse time, I wouldn't have chosen my statistics minor honestly.

I can't believe that 2019 is almost ending. The 2010s is almost gone....the sound of saying 2020 doesnt even sound amazing. A lot of stuff happened in the past decade. I'm happy where I am today and I enjoyed 2019 the most out of all my years here at UofT. I hope to end my undergrad with a bang!!

Currently, I am preparing for my first meeting with my mentor! I am kind of lost on what career path I should go into after undergrad since I have ZERO interest in pursuing a masters (no interest in research in general). I technically already found an area that I really would love to work in forever in my life, but what sucks about it is that there's no advancement and the pay is somewhat low? If it was a bit higher, I would have been satisfied af. It fits with my personality. It's not too stressful. I love routines and schedules. I love having my weekends off. Basically I'm describing a typical 9-5 job. Many may look down on this lack of ambition type of job but I think it suits me. Q_Q Anyways, I am excited to meet my mentor because she sounds really interesting. She used to work in the field that I had interest in, but changed career paths into something that I never knew existed before. I hope the meeting is not too awkward (I think I have social anxiety tbh). Everytime I try to imagine how the meeting would go, I get extremely nervous and stressed. I'm literally going to prepare a paper of jot notes on what to do honestly.

I am currently working on my 2020 agenda! I'm so excited but sad to say goodbye to my 2019 agenda. There is also a chance that this may be my last agenda that I ever use?? Unless I go into a field that requires using an agenda?? I hope so.

Overall, I cant believe my undergrad flew by so fast. It was honestly exhausting, stressful, and demanding. It wasn't exactly a happy experience being here at school but whatever. I wouldn't have picked any other school tbh. Was university for me? Maybe. But I think it takes a lot of determination and responsibility to go to university, especially at UofT. The test standards are much higher here than other schools even though we may learn /similar/ contents. Averages are always in the 60s because thats the aim for profs in general (department demands for this average). I truly think the people that go to this school have it way harder (my peers believe so too). I can't believe I am almost done lol. Just one more term!!

I don't know what else to write so bye!